The two purposes for the 'treatment center' are: first, to detoxify the body from alcohol (this could be a dangerous process) alcohol education, to break through denial. This is something to be talked about with a counselor.
Also, when an alcoholic goes to treatment for addiction, the place that is usually more effective is the one that believes in the disease concept of alcoholism rather than believing that alcoholism is a result of other issues. (And if the person also has a psychiatric diagnosis, that the alcoholism is in addition to it, not a result of it.)
The alcoholic may also need some counseling, some serious therapy for some other issues perhaps in conjunction with AA. These other issues usually cannot be completely addressed until the alcoholic is sober, and for that, the alcoholic needs AA, because most people need AA to stay sober. It's the most effective treatment for alcoholism there is.
People who go to only counseling to try to stay sober, or only church/synagogue or whatever, or who try to do it by themselves, have a pretty poor prognosis for recovery.
The recovery rate for people who go to AA and stay in AA the rest of their lives is very good. According to AA itself (from a report in the back of the AA "Grapevine" magazine several years ago) the statistics went like this: 50% of the people who go to AA stay sober from day one; out of the remaining 50%, half of them had relapses and then came back and stayed sober, and the other half of them never made it. So, 75% of people stay sober if they go to AA. That's higher, much much higher, than any other form of treatment. So it's sort of playing Russian roulette to try doing it without AA. The only requirement for membership to AA is "A desire to stop drinking."
Yet, you always hear alcoholics say "I don't need AA. I can get sober anytime I want." Well, that may be true, but mostly it is NOT true it's not a matter of getting sober only, it's a matter of staying sober & living a happy, joyous & free life. A lot of alcoholics can get sober but can't stay sober. They will try to stay sober for a period of time just to prove that they are not alcoholics.
As a matter of fact, as the disease progresses along (and it is a fatal, progressive disease) it gets harder and harder to even GET clean for even one day. So there's a very scary (but true) saying in the rooms of recovery: "I know I have another drunk in me, I don't know if I have another recovery in me."
The thing is, with this disease, one never knows if one does have another recovery. There are people who go out and come back in, go out and come back in the rooms of AA all the time, and then one day when they want to come back into AA, they've lost the power of choice, and they try desperately and they can't get sober enough to even get to the front door. The lucky ones literally crawl back in years later, and look like they have fought the Vietnam War by themselves; that's how bad they look.
And the crazy thing about this disease is that it progresses whether or not you're drinking. So even for people who have been sober for many years, this disease is still progressing. Even though their recovery is progressing, the point is if they pick up a drink ten years after they get sober, they are as sick as if they never had stopped drinking in those 10 years.They loose ALL control of their drinking.
What If The Alcoholic Keeps Talking About Getting Sober Instead of GOING to AA?
Say it's now June and he says he'll go to AA in September. I hear this from literally hundreds of people who relate how the alcoholic says he'll go to AA later, maybe next month, or next season.
Now I'm not saying it doesn't ever lead to the person actually following through, but I would not hang my hat on it. Most of the time it leads to a lot of disappointment, because there's an old saying in AA that: "nobody woke up one fine morning, felt great, and decided to go to AA." That might be a bit of an exaggeration to say nobody did, but most of the time getting help is a surrender, it's not a pronouncement, it's not "I'll put a notice in the paper," it's not "I'll call all the cousins and tell them about it," it's not "I'll make 15 promises" and go on and on and on about it. It's usually kind of a desperate, quiet surrender, a screaming "Help!", an "Oh my God I need help!" and they just do it.
I would not say to the alcoholic, "You're not serious." I would just go about my business. I wouldn't argue about it, but I would just not count on it.
This doesn't mean that there aren't some alcoholics who will talk a lot about it before they go because they're scared and they're sort of working their way up to it. But like I said, I would not count on it. One of the changes that family members must do is to start listening to what the alcoholic DOES, not what he says. That's very important -- listen to what he does, not what he says.
Once He Has Actually Started Going To AA, He Needs To Fall In Love With AA
Now what do I mean by that? Falling in love with AA means that the alcoholic loves going. And that's the key that will keep people going back the rest of their lives so that they don't die from alcoholism.The Alcoholic also finds helpful the fellowship that takes place within the group. (Parties, picnics, bowling nights, etc.) All of course having a great time without alcohol. this also takes him away from his drinking buddies or his isolation.
Now, how does a person get from just plain old scared and just going to meetings (or resentment about going) to actually falling in love with going?
One of the ways a person gets to AA is being made to go by the courts or their employment, if they're lucky & haven't been fired first, or by their family. Then, it's "get the body there and the mind will follow." They keep going until eventually it gets into them and they start really liking it and understanding what it's about, and feeling comfortable there, and talking, and sharing, and seeing that it really is helping them tremendously. The trick is to be honest, open minded and willing.
Now some people, probably a smaller amount of people, fall in love with AA from the beginning and see how much it helps them. For most people, it's a process, it takes time. Encouragement by the family is always helpful but NOT nagging!
Why do alcoholics really need to go to so many meetings? The crux of it is this: Meeting goers believe that no matter how long their sobriety is they "ONLY HAVE TODAY" to help them with their issues and not to pick up a drink, most members go to a meeting everyday in the beginning & as many meetings as possible after recovery, if there are enough meetings in the area. If not it's important to talk to another alcoholic on the phone, or a sponsor who guides them through the process. For the alcoholic it has been their reaction for so many years to pick up a drink or drug, to kill the pain of an emotion or to help them with stress. The meetings help them to release their stress or emotions by talking about them and learning how recovered alcoholics deal with the same things without the use of alcohol. Recovered alcoholics stay in AA for the long haul one day at a time, & therefore keep living a sober, happy, joyous life and don't die from alcoholism? The two keys that I see that keep them there, is they go to enough meetings and really start seeing how it's their "daily medicine" and it helps them tremendously. Every member learns to express their feelings & emotional pain. They talk about whatever is bothering them, no matter how embarrassing it is; they get it out and they share it with people who help them to see how to use the tools of the program to help them recover from this killer disease.
The information provided herein is not intended to be considered counseling or other professional advice. Please see a health professional about your particular situation.
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