Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

After the previous post I realized that it is SAAM. So I'm making this post a 'rant.'
Appropriate that the Sexual Abuser (as seen on the video in my previous post) was found guilty and has a prison sentence for 32 years.!!

There is much said today about "Rape Culture" if you want to take a look at Dr Young's site (below)
'What is Rape Culture'? A MUST read:
http://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/what-is-rape-culture/

I feel that Dr Young describes it perfectly. Be warned! there may be language that you may not like. But Rape is a cruel violent act and I feel that the terminology used is very appropriate considering it's content.
We can't be faint hearted when acts of violence of this nature are carried out. It's happening everywhere and sadly, in most cases, we never get to find out!! Why? Because of rape culture?

I felt that it was appropriate to continue with "sexual abuse" in this post because not only are most abusers victims of childhood abuse themselves becoming sex addicts and  pornography addicts or worse rapist's and child molesters.
Most people that I have treated for porn addiction were afraid that they would one day become the abuser. Why?

It's a very common symptom that porn addicts become desensitized to the feelings of women. Also there are many men who are filling the prisons today, convicted of rape, because they were under the influence of drugs and alcohol as well, to double their trouble! I know of many addicts, who have been convicted of murder and lesser crimes and they don't even remember!

So desensitized are these addicts that when 'she' says; "NO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX" they are not to be believed. They feel that the girl is just saying NO but really means YES! if there's a struggle it only adds to the 'fun.' After all, the abusers have seen so many 'porn stars' enjoying themselves that they can't fathom why anyone should want to say no! Hard to imagine but true.

Rape is so damaging; to girls/women who feel shame that 'they are to be blamed' they have kept silent, which is the case with most rape victims, therefore they haven't received appropriate therapy. Having said that; girls who have been victims of this crime, probably many times, are heard to ask their friends "how many times do you think you will get raped tonight"?
Even the most awful and sinister of crimes can become the norm in the troubled heart and mind of innocent victims, damaging their lives forever, many once becoming women, eventually turning to prostitution.

http://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/sexual-assault-awareness-month/

Sexual Abuse can lead to Sexual Abuse.

It's a known statistical fact that anyone who was sexually abused as a child can become an abuser him/herself. Most young people who have been abused will turn to alcohol or drugs compounding their problems, thinking that this is a solution in trying to eliminate their pain.
If you have been sexually abused as a child then seek help by a professional counselor. 

http://www.wpix.com/news/wpix-sex-abuse-32-years-max,0,4358743.story

Tips For Communicating With an Addicted Loved One

Communicating with someone with an addiction can be especially hard if you have been supporting the person's addiction by "enabling" them to continue with their addictive behavior. Making changes in the way that you interact will put an end to enabling, while still showing you care about the person.

Act with kindness

Show you care through your behavior – always act with kindness and compassion.

Your loved one is more likely to confide in you about what is really going on for them if you listen without interrupting or criticizing. Even if you do not agree with their behavior, try to understand what it is like for them.

Be consistent

Try to remain consistent in your messages. For example, don’t say you think they have a drinking problem, and then share a bottle of wine over dinner.

Be predictable

Be predictable in your words and actions – surprises are stressful!

Show unconditional love

Let the person know that you still love and care about them, whether or not they get help. This doesn't mean you will put up with anything, however.

Support change happening

Let the person know that you are willing to support them in changing, for example, by coming with them to family or couples counseling.

Do it their way

Offer to help in ways that they would like, without dictating what must be done.

Get information on help

Offer to find and share information on where to get help. If they decline, focus instead on getting help for yourself.

Let them know your limits

If the person seems unwilling to change, and you feel you cannot keep on living with them while they are engaging in their addiction, gently let them know (counseling can be a good place to do this). As long as they do not know how much it bothers you, they have no reason to change.

From Near Death to Recovery Part ii

http://www.facebook.com/l/a7abe;www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K2xJKs7EBg

Posted with kind permission from the (author/video maker) 

More Town Hall Meetings Than Ever Being Held Across America To Address The Dangers Of Underage Drinking

The statistics for underage drinking is rising at a phenomenal pace.
It's so important to take a look at our own 'local' youth. Is there enough awareness in the community of drug & alcohol abuse? If not, don't ignore it, thinking that someone will be doing something somewhere. The chances are that not enough is being done to save young lives. Act now!!
Ask questions at your local social services, local police drug department, to see what measures they are taking.
Talk to other parents about their children, don't feel ashamed if your child is abusing drugs or alcohol, it has to be treated as a disease just like any other. Would you let a small, benign growth grow into a malignant condition by believing that it will go away on it's own. No of course not because; It doesn't!!!...... and neither does drug or alcohol dependence.
Statistics show that by parents helping their children from an early age to choose not to drink or drug has been very effective.

• Let them know and stand firm that having a 'little sip' of alcohol is NO!
• Let them be aware that other kids might encourage them to drink or drug.
• Help them to have the answers to friends who insist.
• Help them to deal with being an outsider from the group if they don't participate.
• Help them find healthy activities that are supervised by adults.
• Show them the consequences of kids who end up as addicts.
• There are many sites on the internet with graphic information on this subject.
• BUT be age appropriate with your answers when questions come up.
• Help them to feel 'good' about talking to you in an honest way about any of their issues concerning drugs & alcohol. Be open & honest with them.
• Would you allow your child to drink poison? No! why? because it can damage their brain & other organs....... Alcohol is like a poison to a child's undeveloped brain and body!

Take a look at the previous blog about a young woman who was one of the lucky ones......follow her story. The next video coming soon.
I know many kids who weren't so lucky and were taken from their families by this dreadful disease.
Don't let it happen to your child!!


More Town Hall Meetings Than Ever Being Held Across America To Address The Dangers Of Underage Drinking

From Near Death to Recovery

Many kids think that "it's only a bottle of beer or "I'll just try one joint" It happens time and time again that the "only one" turns into a dependence

Take a look at the "Journey" of this young woman, from near death to being one of the most beautiful, talented and liveliest........... well hang around, you'll see for yourself when we get to Part iii

Part One:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkKZEbWll1o

 

 

More Than A Quarter Of Youth Aged 12 To 20 Drank Alcohol In The Past Month

More Than A Quarter Of Youth Aged 12 To 20 Drank Alcohol In The Past Month WHY CHILDREN START DRINKING. 1. As children approach their teen years, they begin to experience many emotional and physical changes – changes that are not always easy. During this challenging and confusing time, even good children may experiment with alcohol. 2. For most children, it's not just one thing that influences them to drink, but a combination of factors. 3. Life events, like going from middle school to high school, breaking up with a significant other, moving, or divorce, can cause a child to turn to alcohol. Reassure your child that things will get easier, and make sure he or she knows that drinking isn't a solution. 4. As children begin spending more time with their peers and less time with their parents, this increased freedom can lead to drinking. While it's important to give your child space, keep track of where they are and who they're with. If they are at a friend's house, make sure a responsible adult is nearby or accessible. 5. Taking chances and trying new things are a normal part of growing up. For some children, this exploration includes experimenting with alcohol. Remind your child about the real risks of underage drinking, and make sure he or she knows how you feel about underage drinking. 6. When children worry about things like grades, fitting in, and physical appearance, they may use alcohol as a way to escape their problems. Encourage your child to get involved in sports or other extracurricular activities as a healthier way to cope. 7. If children grow up in an environment where adults drink excessively, they are more likely to drink themselves. If you choose to drink, set a good example by drinking in moderation, and make sure your child knows that underage drinking is not acceptable. 8. Children who are disruptive, hyperactive, or depressed are at a higher risk for alcohol problems. If you feel that your child's social issues could lead him or her to abuse alcohol, consider having your child see a drug and alcohol counselor. 9. Most children feel pressure to be popular and fit in. Many try alcohol when they are in a social setting where "everyone else is doing it." Help boost your child's confidence by helping them learn different ways to say "no," and reminding them that real friends wouldn't pressure them to drink. 10. Children who come from a family with a history of alcoholism are at an increased risk for alcohol dependence. If alcoholism runs in your family, have an honest discussion with your child, and make sure he or she understands the seriousness of the disease.