Shortcuts to happiness

Try to imagine how life would be, if the bank clerk was happy & smiling, or the bus driver, or the shop keeper or how your stay in hospital would have been much more bearable without the cantankerous head nurse yelling at everyone all day long. Usually pain is the underlying cause……….. It has been my experience that when one person overcomes anxiety, insecurity, drug dependency, physical disability, fear of death, the trauma of rape, the agony of divorce or any other black hole of personal discomfort, all those around that person are touched by his or her triumphs. As one person becomes happier, his or her attitudinal change alters the dynamics of all those around them, thereby having an enormous impact on his family and friends. If happiness means that we become easier, more comfortable with ourselves, more accepting of others and their opinions (we don’t really have to be right all the time!) respectful, excited and appreciative of what we do and with whom we interact with, would we not become a pleasure to all those we meet? I have heard people tell me the most horrendous stories of what has happened to them and what they have done to others. Instead of grimacing or showing any form of internal judgment about what had been shared I have asked in a simple non-judgmental way “why are you labeling yourself a terrible or bad person. Most likely the response is “Everyone in the world would call me terrible for that” I will repeat the question again……….knowing that I am not judging, but accepting him, (not his deeds), he will start to relax and more often than not the stories of his childhood will pour out, probably for the first time ever. What this does is opens a channel for a client, friend, child, spouse or loved one to be able to express himself in a safe, non threatening way. To know that we are accepted for who we are warts and all, will bring about a change in a persons’ beliefs, his vision and his life. To become more self-accepting as well as happier in our actions (keep on doing the next right thing, no matter what it takes)by being more nurturing and loving to ourselves, our families and friends. We are the difference.